Make Mistakes to Find Out What You Want

I was just reading the November issue of O magazine and thought this piece of advice would encourage you to take action in your writing life. Excerpt from the article Where To Start by Anne Lamott:

When I was a young writer, I was talking to an old painter one day about how he came to paint his canvases. He said that he never knew what the completed picture would look like, but he could usually see one quadrant. So he'd make a stab at capturing what he saw on the canvas of his mind, and when it turned out not to be even remotely what he imagined, he'd paint over it in white. And each time he figured out what the painting wasn't, he was one step closer to finding out what it was.

You have to make mistakes to find out who you aren't. You take the action, and the insight follows: You don't think your way into becoming yourself.

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Sometimes we are afraid to try something new. Some of us fear rejection and others are so used to doing things a certain way it becomes comfortable and we don't want to break the pattern. Then there are still others that think about doing something so much it becomes overwhelming and we give up. We need to remember that we can't plan for everything. No matter how many times you play out a situation in your head, it will always come out differently in the real world. The important thing is to try. If you make a mistake, "paint" over it and move on. You'll be one step closer to discovering what you really want or who you were meant to be.

Sink, Swim, or Fly?

What do you do when your to-do list is longer than your intestinal tract? When the amount of work on your plate is so heavy you feel like you need a catering cart?

Sometimes we sink

It's easy to sink when you're drowning in work. I tend to get overwhelmed, and even downright depressed, when too much is put on my plate. When that happens, I fall into a workload coma, unable to complete the task at hand because I'm thinking about the task ahead. I watch TV, check email, and do a million little things that don't help me get closer to accomplishing anything--all the while feeling I've lost my passion for work. When that happens, you know you need to change something. But what do other people do? I found some advice on several forums somewhat amusing:

"I do a pajama day or throw a pajama party, if I can."

"Maybe take a shower, if that's important to you."

"Listen to soundtracks and eat Chinese food."

"Cry. Wallow in self-pity."

So, the internet may not be the best place to find advice, LOL. But I do get what they're saying. It may be necessary to fly, to escape from your problems for a while and clear your mind.

Sometimes we fly

Last weekend, I escaped to one of my favorite places in the mountains--a sleepy little town called Idyllwild, located in the San Jacinto National Forest. There's a cabin I rent every so often, nestled deep in the woods, where cell phone service and the internet are not an option. Unplugging for a couple of days was such a relief! I woke up to fresh air and a bunch of animals that were practically everywhere--a woodpecker storing nuts in a tree for the winter, bunny rabbits casually eating young blades of grass, and fluffy-tailed squirrels literally going nuts foraging for food. That doesn't happen where I live, and it was nice.

If things get too overwhelming to the point where you can't function, you definitely need a break. Don't consider it a sign of weakness. I know, as women, we tend to think we can handle it all. We are the ultimate multitaskers. But if you are overwhelmed, it's not time to multitask. That will only put you in deeper.

So, like the forum posters, if having a pajama party, taking an important shower, listening to soundtracks and eating Chinese food, or crying is your thing...then go ahead. Well, I don't know about the crying and self-pity thing...that seems counterproductive, but you get the idea. Take a walk, read a good book, retreat to a place you love, take some time off and recharge your batteries.

It doesn't matter if you don't have a lot of money, you can find something that will relieve stress. The whole trip to the mountains only cost me a couple hundred dollars. The cabin ran around $98 a night--super cheap for a whole cabin with a full kitchen, two bedrooms, a deck with a BBQ, and a pool. I brought food from home, barbequed, meditated, and read books by the pool. It was inexpensive and just what I needed.

One thing I do regret: the trip was too short. Be sure to take enough time to fully recharge. Then you can come back refreshed and ready to swim.

Sometimes we swim

When you are ready to swim, remember, you are not alone. If you seriously have too much work on your plate, ask for help. Don't be a martyr. Most likely, there are people around you who can help take some of the burden off of your chest. You just have to take time to delegate some of the responsibilities. It could be family members, coworkers, or putting a call out on a writer's group. There are so many people willing to help out in a time of need. Don't think of it as selfish. I know it's a terribly hard thing to grasp, and I battle with that myself, but, if you are doing something good for others, or yourself, it's worth the effort. Flying solo will only hinder your goals and hurt the people around you. So, to do this, ask yourself these questions:

What can I do to lighten my workload?
Examine your to-do list. Is there anything unnecessary? What can you eliminate?

Are there any tasks I can have someone help me with?
Many times we think, I'll just do it, it'll take too much time to explain to someone else, but that's the wrong way to think. Working with someone not only reduces stress, but also helps motivate you to do a better job.

Now, I want to know: What do you do when you are overwhelmed? Do you sink, swim, or fly?