Sue Silverman, Author of Fearless Confessions: A Writer's Guide to Memoir, Launches her Blog Tour!
& Book Giveaway Comments Contest!
Sue William Silverman is the author of two memoirs. Her first memoir, Because I Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You, won the AWP award series in creative nonfiction. Her second, Love Sick: One Woman's Journey through Sexual Addiction (W. W. Norton), is also a Lifetime Television original movie. Her poetry collection is Hieroglyphics in Neon, and her latest book, Fearless Confessions: A Writers Guide to Memoir, is published with the University of Georgia Press. She is associate editor of Fourth Genre: Explorations in Nonfiction, and teaches in the MFA in Writing program at Vermont College of Fine Arts. She has appeared on such national TV shows as The View, Anderson Cooper-360, and CNN Headline News. Find out more about Sue by visiting her website: www.suewilliamsilverman.com.
Fearless Confessions: A Writer's Guide to Memoir
By Sue William Silverman
Fearless Confessions: A Writer's Guide to Memoir is a guidebook for people who want to take possession of their lives by putting their experiences down on paper. Enhanced with illustrative examples from many different writers as well as writing exercises, this guide helps writers navigate a range of issues from craft to ethics to marketing and will be useful to both beginners and more accomplished writers.
The rise of interest in memoir recognizes the power of the genre to move and affect not just individual readers, but society at large. Sue Silverman covers traditional writing topics such as metaphor, theme, plot, and voice, but also includes chapters on trusting memory and cultivating the courage to tell one's truth in the face of forces--from family members to the media--who would prefer that people with inconvenient pasts and views remain silent.
Silverman draws upon her own personal and professional experience to provide an essential resource for transforming life into words that matter. Fearless Confessions is an atlas that contains maps to the remarkable places in each person's life that have yet to be explored.
Published by University of Georgia Press
Paperback: 272 pages
ISBN# 082033166X
Check out the trailer for Fearless Confessions below!
Book Giveaway Comments Contest!
If you received our Events Newsletter, remember, we are holding a contest to win a copy of Sue's book, Fearless Confessions: A Writers Guide to Memoir, to those that comment. So, grab a cup of coffee, pull up a chair, and enjoy the chat, and share your thoughts, and comments, at the end.
We will randomly choose a winner from those who comment. Enjoy!
Interview by Jodi Webb
WOW: Prior to Fearless Confessions: A Writer’s Guide to Memoir you wrote two memoirs. What made you decide to write a "how-to" book?
Sue: Initially, anger motivated me to write Fearless Confessions.
I got angry by how many in the media--such as book critics--misunderstood and belittled memoir, mainly those written by women or those considered "other." For example, we've been accused of navel gazing. The word "confessional" is used in a demeaning way, suggesting that we're whining or complaining, along those lines.
So even though most of my new book is devoted to the craft of writing, I also include a chapter about what it really means to be a confessional writer--and the importance of memoir. I wanted to show how the word "confessional" is actually very positive. I hope more and more of us write memoir, especially since it's such a popular form, one that many like to read!
WOW: Bring us all up to speed. So often when I go into a bookstore I see a section labeled Bio/Memoir but do they belong in the same section? How are autobiography and memoir different?
Sue: They really are different!
Biography and autobiography are usually written about or by celebrities--movie stars, politicians, sports stars--and cover the whole of that person's life in a fairly factual way.
For example, in his autobiography My Life, Bill Clinton writes about his entire life, a kind of chronology of "first this happened, then this happened, and then this next thing happened." There's little or no reflection. It's based on his life of action, so is told more historically than impressionistically.
Ms. Ordinary Woman, however, like me, writes a memoir that's usually a slice of a life, not a whole life, and is based on memory, metaphor, and reflection--as opposed to historical "facts" that can be checked in newspapers. Memoir tends to follow one narrowly defined theme and is a journey, of sorts, to gain understanding about events.
For example, in my first memoir, Because I Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You, I wrote to ultimately reach some understanding about growing up in an incestuous family. In Love Sick, I wrote to discover the impact sexual addiction had on my life.
WOW: So how does a Ms. Ordinary Woman decide which slice of life to write about?
Sue: When sitting down to write, ask yourself: What subject seems urgent? What are my obsessions? Which event(s) in my life must be told? Which images or events won't let go of me?
Maybe you want to focus on a recent divorce. Maybe you're obsessed with what it felt like growing up on a farm in Kansas. Maybe you feel a real urgency about being raised in a military household, where you had to move to a new place every few years.
Whatever your life, you'll be able to discover a slice of it that would make an engaging memoir.
WOW: But what about the real people that populate our memoirs? Do many memoirs remain unwritten (or unpublished) out of concern for the characters portrayed in them?
Sue: The memoirist James McBride says, "Fear is a killer of good literature." So, yes, I think many memoirists are afraid of committing their stories to paper. And while I understand this fear--especially since it took me many years to overcome it myself--I would still urge potential memoirists to write anyway--regardless of the fear.
One way to overcome fear, at least initially, is to pretend to write just for yourself, ignoring (as much as possible) the fact that others might one day read your story. For me, while writing, I always pretend no one else will ever see my work. And, in any event, it's my choice whether I'll ultimately share it with anyone or not.
I tell myself I'm writing this book, first and foremost, because I must. Which is true. The act of writing, itself, is of primary importance. This is where the spirituality of artistic endeavor resides. Focus on the words, themselves, during the creation process. Worry about the outside world later.
In order to be creative and fully engage in the process, writers must give themselves permission to set aside the fear about what the outside world might think.
WOW: Do you think the primary purpose of writing a memoir isn't necessarily publication but a more personal purpose with publication just an added bonus?
Sue: Certainly one can write for oneself--to try to figure things out. The writing itself is crucial because it is only during the writing process that I fully understand any given event or experience. I hardly know what I think until I write it!
However, if you want to take it a step further, by publishing the work, you're then able to share your experiences with others--maybe those who aren't able to give voice to trauma--or to any experience for that matter. Memoirs can act as emotional guides, as it were, to help readers better understand the complicated maze of the psyche. Every memoirist I know receives letters from readers letting the author know how much their book helped them to understand their own lives. That's incredibly powerful.
WOW: I've never thought about how one person's memoir can help another person. You're right, it is powerful. So why do so many memoirs I read seem to be about negative experiences--abuse, imprisonment, mental illness?
Sue: Rather than use the word "negative," I would probably use the word "painful" experience.
The reason why we tend to write about dark events in our lives is to better understand them. Probably, "joy" is easier to understand--doesn't need as much soul searching--whereas painful experiences do require more work to sort out.
At its heart, writing memoir is a journey, an exploration.
WOW: You've included some excerpts from memoirs at the end of each of your chapters. Can you suggest some additional writers aspiring memoir writers can read?
Sue: Oh, that's always so difficult to choose a few. Instead, what I'd like to suggest, is that you review my reading list for contemporary creative nonfiction! You can find it as an appendix at the back of Fearless Confessions, but I also have a copy of it on my website, at www.suewilliamsilverman.com. This list is separated into categories, such as illness, childhood, coming-of-age, relationships, mental health issues, etc., so you can find a subject, as well as an author, that you might wish to read.
WOW: So what's coming up next for you?
Sue: Ongoing, I still teach writing at the low-residency Vermont College of Fine Arts. You can also find my blog tour schedule on my website's Blog Tour & Events page.
In terms of writing, I'm working on another creative nonfiction book called The Pat Boone Fan Club: My Life as a White, Anglo-Saxon Jew. It's not nearly as dark as my two memoirs!
WOW: Thanks for visiting with us Sue and we can't wait for a glimpse at your next slice of life!
Want to join Sue on her blog tour? Check out these dates and mark your calendar! You can also snag a copy of WOW's Events Calendar HERE.
Blog Tour Dates: Come and join the fun!
AUGUST 3, 2009 Monday
Sue will be chatting with WOW! Women On Writing at The Muffin. Stop by and share your comments! One lucky commenter will win copy of Sue's book!
https://www.wow-womenonwriting.com/blog.html
AUGUST 4, 2009 Tuesday
Stop by Thursday Bram's blog and read her review of Sue Silverman's book, Fearless Confessions: A Writer's Guide to Memoir.
https://www.thursdaybram.com/
AUGUST 5, 2009 Wednesday
What is truth? Sue stops by Donna Volkenannt's blog, Donna's Book Pub, to discuss the definition of truth in memoir writing.
https://donnasbookpub.blogspot.com/
AUGUST 6, 2009 Thursday
Sue takes a trip to Japan to Suzanne Kamata's blog, Gaijin Mama, to share her ideas about the Redemptive Power of Writing.
https://gaijinmama.wordpress.com/
AUGUST 7, 2009 Friday
Sue stops by Beth Morrissey's blog, Hell Or High Water, to chat about the importance of women's voices in the literary world. Not to miss!
https://hellorhighwaterwriter.blogspot.com/
AUGUST 9, 2009 Sunday (7 PM, EST)
Stop by the Writer's Chatroom tonight at 7 PM, EST, and chat with Sue William Silverman!
https://www.writerschatroom.com/schedule.htm
AUGUST 10, 2009 Monday
Sue stops by Annette Fix's blog to chat about the process of memoir writing. That's something these two have in common and are passionate about, so it should be an exciting discussion!
https://www.annettefix.com/
AUGUST 12, 2009 Wednesday
Sue stops by Mary Jo Campbell's blog, Writer's Inspired, for an author interview. Stop by today to hear more about Fearless Confessions.
https://writerinspired.wordpress.com/
AUGUST 14, 2009 Friday
Sue stops by The Divine Miss Mommy for an author interview and book review!
https://thedivinemissmommy.com/
AUGUST 17, 2009 Monday
Today, Sue chats with Susan Johnston at The Urban Muse to figure out what makes a memoir writer tick. Not to miss!
https://www.urbanmusewriter.com/
AUGUST 18, 2009 Tuesday
Sue stops by Mike's Writing Workshop to discuss the "Five Redemptive Paths through Memoir."
https://mikeswritingworkshop.blogspot.com/
AUGUST 19, 2009 Wednesday
Sue visits C. Hope Clark's blog for a discussion about "Using Savory Words to Write Memoir."
https://www.hopeclark.blogspot.com/
AUGUST 21, 2009 Friday
Today Sue stops by Rebecca Laffar-Smith's blog, Writer's Round-About, to answer questions submitted by the readers. If you would like to ask Sue a question, please visit Writer's Round-About and submit your question before August 17th. Sue will also tell us how to use all our senses to bring a memoir to life. And there will be a book giveaway! Comment today for a chance to win a copy of Fearless Confessions: A Writer's Guide to Memoir. In addition, Rebecca will be posting her review of Fearless Confessions on August 10th. Be sure to check that out!
https://www.writersroundabout.com/
AUGUST 24, 2009 Monday
Sue stops by Shai Coggins' blog for an author interview. It should be a lively discussion!
https://www.shaicoggins.com/
AUGUST 26, 2009 Wednesday
Sue visits the Memory Writers Network blog for an author interview. Also, be sure to check out Jerry Waxler's post about the "gutsy-ness and horror of revealing yourself," which was inspired by Sue Silverman!
https://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/
SEPTEMBER 1, 2009 Tuesday
Stop by So a Blonde Walks Into a Review to learn how Sue overcame her fear of telling (and writing) secrets. Also, enter to win Fearless Confessions!
https://www.soablondewalksintoareview.com/
SEPTEMBER 3, 2009 Thursday
Stop by for a fabulous interview of Sue with Erika Dreifus, a book reviewer for The Writer.
https://practicing-writing.blogspot.com/
We may have several more dates to come, so be sure to check out our Events Calendar HERE.
Get involved!
We hope you are as excited about the tour as we are! Mark your calendar, save these dates, and join us for this truly unique and fascinating author blog tour.
If you have a blog or website and would like to participate in Sue Silverman's blog tour, or schedule a tour of your own, please email Angela and Jodi at: blogtour@wow-womenonwriting.com
** Please feel free to copy any portion of this post.
Oh, be sure to comment on this post to enter in a drawing for a copy of Sue's fabulous book Fearless Confessions: A Writers Guide to Memoir.
Sue William Silverman is the author of two memoirs. Her first memoir, Because I Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You, won the AWP award series in creative nonfiction. Her second, Love Sick: One Woman's Journey through Sexual Addiction (W. W. Norton), is also a Lifetime Television original movie. Her poetry collection is Hieroglyphics in Neon, and her latest book, Fearless Confessions: A Writers Guide to Memoir, is published with the University of Georgia Press. She is associate editor of Fourth Genre: Explorations in Nonfiction, and teaches in the MFA in Writing program at Vermont College of Fine Arts. She has appeared on such national TV shows as The View, Anderson Cooper-360, and CNN Headline News. Find out more about Sue by visiting her website: www.suewilliamsilverman.com.
Fearless Confessions: A Writer's Guide to Memoir
By Sue William Silverman
Fearless Confessions: A Writer's Guide to Memoir is a guidebook for people who want to take possession of their lives by putting their experiences down on paper. Enhanced with illustrative examples from many different writers as well as writing exercises, this guide helps writers navigate a range of issues from craft to ethics to marketing and will be useful to both beginners and more accomplished writers.
The rise of interest in memoir recognizes the power of the genre to move and affect not just individual readers, but society at large. Sue Silverman covers traditional writing topics such as metaphor, theme, plot, and voice, but also includes chapters on trusting memory and cultivating the courage to tell one's truth in the face of forces--from family members to the media--who would prefer that people with inconvenient pasts and views remain silent.
Silverman draws upon her own personal and professional experience to provide an essential resource for transforming life into words that matter. Fearless Confessions is an atlas that contains maps to the remarkable places in each person's life that have yet to be explored.
Published by University of Georgia Press
Paperback: 272 pages
ISBN# 082033166X
Check out the trailer for Fearless Confessions below!
Book Giveaway Comments Contest!
If you received our Events Newsletter, remember, we are holding a contest to win a copy of Sue's book, Fearless Confessions: A Writers Guide to Memoir, to those that comment. So, grab a cup of coffee, pull up a chair, and enjoy the chat, and share your thoughts, and comments, at the end.
We will randomly choose a winner from those who comment. Enjoy!
Interview by Jodi Webb
WOW: Prior to Fearless Confessions: A Writer’s Guide to Memoir you wrote two memoirs. What made you decide to write a "how-to" book?
Sue: Initially, anger motivated me to write Fearless Confessions.
I got angry by how many in the media--such as book critics--misunderstood and belittled memoir, mainly those written by women or those considered "other." For example, we've been accused of navel gazing. The word "confessional" is used in a demeaning way, suggesting that we're whining or complaining, along those lines.
So even though most of my new book is devoted to the craft of writing, I also include a chapter about what it really means to be a confessional writer--and the importance of memoir. I wanted to show how the word "confessional" is actually very positive. I hope more and more of us write memoir, especially since it's such a popular form, one that many like to read!
WOW: Bring us all up to speed. So often when I go into a bookstore I see a section labeled Bio/Memoir but do they belong in the same section? How are autobiography and memoir different?
Sue: They really are different!
Biography and autobiography are usually written about or by celebrities--movie stars, politicians, sports stars--and cover the whole of that person's life in a fairly factual way.
For example, in his autobiography My Life, Bill Clinton writes about his entire life, a kind of chronology of "first this happened, then this happened, and then this next thing happened." There's little or no reflection. It's based on his life of action, so is told more historically than impressionistically.
Ms. Ordinary Woman, however, like me, writes a memoir that's usually a slice of a life, not a whole life, and is based on memory, metaphor, and reflection--as opposed to historical "facts" that can be checked in newspapers. Memoir tends to follow one narrowly defined theme and is a journey, of sorts, to gain understanding about events.
For example, in my first memoir, Because I Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You, I wrote to ultimately reach some understanding about growing up in an incestuous family. In Love Sick, I wrote to discover the impact sexual addiction had on my life.
WOW: So how does a Ms. Ordinary Woman decide which slice of life to write about?
Sue: When sitting down to write, ask yourself: What subject seems urgent? What are my obsessions? Which event(s) in my life must be told? Which images or events won't let go of me?
Maybe you want to focus on a recent divorce. Maybe you're obsessed with what it felt like growing up on a farm in Kansas. Maybe you feel a real urgency about being raised in a military household, where you had to move to a new place every few years.
Whatever your life, you'll be able to discover a slice of it that would make an engaging memoir.
WOW: But what about the real people that populate our memoirs? Do many memoirs remain unwritten (or unpublished) out of concern for the characters portrayed in them?
Sue: The memoirist James McBride says, "Fear is a killer of good literature." So, yes, I think many memoirists are afraid of committing their stories to paper. And while I understand this fear--especially since it took me many years to overcome it myself--I would still urge potential memoirists to write anyway--regardless of the fear.
One way to overcome fear, at least initially, is to pretend to write just for yourself, ignoring (as much as possible) the fact that others might one day read your story. For me, while writing, I always pretend no one else will ever see my work. And, in any event, it's my choice whether I'll ultimately share it with anyone or not.
I tell myself I'm writing this book, first and foremost, because I must. Which is true. The act of writing, itself, is of primary importance. This is where the spirituality of artistic endeavor resides. Focus on the words, themselves, during the creation process. Worry about the outside world later.
In order to be creative and fully engage in the process, writers must give themselves permission to set aside the fear about what the outside world might think.
WOW: Do you think the primary purpose of writing a memoir isn't necessarily publication but a more personal purpose with publication just an added bonus?
Sue: Certainly one can write for oneself--to try to figure things out. The writing itself is crucial because it is only during the writing process that I fully understand any given event or experience. I hardly know what I think until I write it!
However, if you want to take it a step further, by publishing the work, you're then able to share your experiences with others--maybe those who aren't able to give voice to trauma--or to any experience for that matter. Memoirs can act as emotional guides, as it were, to help readers better understand the complicated maze of the psyche. Every memoirist I know receives letters from readers letting the author know how much their book helped them to understand their own lives. That's incredibly powerful.
WOW: I've never thought about how one person's memoir can help another person. You're right, it is powerful. So why do so many memoirs I read seem to be about negative experiences--abuse, imprisonment, mental illness?
Sue: Rather than use the word "negative," I would probably use the word "painful" experience.
The reason why we tend to write about dark events in our lives is to better understand them. Probably, "joy" is easier to understand--doesn't need as much soul searching--whereas painful experiences do require more work to sort out.
At its heart, writing memoir is a journey, an exploration.
WOW: You've included some excerpts from memoirs at the end of each of your chapters. Can you suggest some additional writers aspiring memoir writers can read?
Sue: Oh, that's always so difficult to choose a few. Instead, what I'd like to suggest, is that you review my reading list for contemporary creative nonfiction! You can find it as an appendix at the back of Fearless Confessions, but I also have a copy of it on my website, at www.suewilliamsilverman.com. This list is separated into categories, such as illness, childhood, coming-of-age, relationships, mental health issues, etc., so you can find a subject, as well as an author, that you might wish to read.
WOW: So what's coming up next for you?
Sue: Ongoing, I still teach writing at the low-residency Vermont College of Fine Arts. You can also find my blog tour schedule on my website's Blog Tour & Events page.
In terms of writing, I'm working on another creative nonfiction book called The Pat Boone Fan Club: My Life as a White, Anglo-Saxon Jew. It's not nearly as dark as my two memoirs!
WOW: Thanks for visiting with us Sue and we can't wait for a glimpse at your next slice of life!
Want to join Sue on her blog tour? Check out these dates and mark your calendar! You can also snag a copy of WOW's Events Calendar HERE.
Blog Tour Dates: Come and join the fun!
AUGUST 3, 2009 Monday
Sue will be chatting with WOW! Women On Writing at The Muffin. Stop by and share your comments! One lucky commenter will win copy of Sue's book!
https://www.wow-womenonwriting.com/blog.html
AUGUST 4, 2009 Tuesday
Stop by Thursday Bram's blog and read her review of Sue Silverman's book, Fearless Confessions: A Writer's Guide to Memoir.
https://www.thursdaybram.com/
AUGUST 5, 2009 Wednesday
What is truth? Sue stops by Donna Volkenannt's blog, Donna's Book Pub, to discuss the definition of truth in memoir writing.
https://donnasbookpub.blogspot.com/
AUGUST 6, 2009 Thursday
Sue takes a trip to Japan to Suzanne Kamata's blog, Gaijin Mama, to share her ideas about the Redemptive Power of Writing.
https://gaijinmama.wordpress.com/
AUGUST 7, 2009 Friday
Sue stops by Beth Morrissey's blog, Hell Or High Water, to chat about the importance of women's voices in the literary world. Not to miss!
https://hellorhighwaterwriter.blogspot.com/
AUGUST 9, 2009 Sunday (7 PM, EST)
Stop by the Writer's Chatroom tonight at 7 PM, EST, and chat with Sue William Silverman!
https://www.writerschatroom.com/schedule.htm
AUGUST 10, 2009 Monday
Sue stops by Annette Fix's blog to chat about the process of memoir writing. That's something these two have in common and are passionate about, so it should be an exciting discussion!
https://www.annettefix.com/
AUGUST 12, 2009 Wednesday
Sue stops by Mary Jo Campbell's blog, Writer's Inspired, for an author interview. Stop by today to hear more about Fearless Confessions.
https://writerinspired.wordpress.com/
AUGUST 14, 2009 Friday
Sue stops by The Divine Miss Mommy for an author interview and book review!
https://thedivinemissmommy.com/
AUGUST 17, 2009 Monday
Today, Sue chats with Susan Johnston at The Urban Muse to figure out what makes a memoir writer tick. Not to miss!
https://www.urbanmusewriter.com/
AUGUST 18, 2009 Tuesday
Sue stops by Mike's Writing Workshop to discuss the "Five Redemptive Paths through Memoir."
https://mikeswritingworkshop.blogspot.com/
AUGUST 19, 2009 Wednesday
Sue visits C. Hope Clark's blog for a discussion about "Using Savory Words to Write Memoir."
https://www.hopeclark.blogspot.com/
AUGUST 21, 2009 Friday
Today Sue stops by Rebecca Laffar-Smith's blog, Writer's Round-About, to answer questions submitted by the readers. If you would like to ask Sue a question, please visit Writer's Round-About and submit your question before August 17th. Sue will also tell us how to use all our senses to bring a memoir to life. And there will be a book giveaway! Comment today for a chance to win a copy of Fearless Confessions: A Writer's Guide to Memoir. In addition, Rebecca will be posting her review of Fearless Confessions on August 10th. Be sure to check that out!
https://www.writersroundabout.com/
AUGUST 24, 2009 Monday
Sue stops by Shai Coggins' blog for an author interview. It should be a lively discussion!
https://www.shaicoggins.com/
AUGUST 26, 2009 Wednesday
Sue visits the Memory Writers Network blog for an author interview. Also, be sure to check out Jerry Waxler's post about the "gutsy-ness and horror of revealing yourself," which was inspired by Sue Silverman!
https://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/
SEPTEMBER 1, 2009 Tuesday
Stop by So a Blonde Walks Into a Review to learn how Sue overcame her fear of telling (and writing) secrets. Also, enter to win Fearless Confessions!
https://www.soablondewalksintoareview.com/
SEPTEMBER 3, 2009 Thursday
Stop by for a fabulous interview of Sue with Erika Dreifus, a book reviewer for The Writer.
https://practicing-writing.blogspot.com/
We may have several more dates to come, so be sure to check out our Events Calendar HERE.
Get involved!
We hope you are as excited about the tour as we are! Mark your calendar, save these dates, and join us for this truly unique and fascinating author blog tour.
If you have a blog or website and would like to participate in Sue Silverman's blog tour, or schedule a tour of your own, please email Angela and Jodi at: blogtour@wow-womenonwriting.com
** Please feel free to copy any portion of this post.
Oh, be sure to comment on this post to enter in a drawing for a copy of Sue's fabulous book Fearless Confessions: A Writers Guide to Memoir.
Labels: author blog tour, book giveaway contest, Fearless Confessions, interview with Sue Silverman, Sue William Silverman, Writer's Guide to Memoir, writing a memoir
39 Comments:
Shame is powerful. Sue William Silverman shows that Truth is even more so. I love her writing and her truth and the lessons she generously offers all of us who want to find and share our stories.
Jerry Waxler
Memory Writers Network
Sounds like a book both professional and dabbling writers could really benefit from reading; thanks for introducing us :)
Jerry and Michelle: thank you SO much for your comments. This support really means a lot to me. And it's great to be part of this blog!
Dear Sue:
Thank you for clearing up the difference between an autobiography and a memoir (great question, Jody!). I recently wrote a book review about a celebrity's life story book, and I am happy to say I used the correct term--autobiography! :) Your memoirs sound fascinating. I would love to win the how-to book. THanks again for all the insight!
Margo Dill
https://margodill.com/blog/
I am in the process of writing my memoirs growing up as the daughter of a hellfire-and-brimstone-preacherman.
I know Sue's book would help me tremendously in writing my book. This interview has already helped me, especially the part about overcoming the fear of the telling and just write for yourself to start with and pretend no one else will ever read it. I think this advise gives me the freedom to actually finish my own book.
Margo: I love the story of your knowing to use the term autobiography!! Yes, celebrities write autobiographies; Ms. Ordinary Woman (like me!) writes a memoir!
Kristie: I think that's so important that you're working on a memoir about growing up as the daughter of preacher. It means a lot to me that my advice is helping you overcome the fear of writing it! Your story--your voice--are important! Good luck with the writing.
Great points here about the value of a memoir. I have always been drawn to reading memoirs and often had to sift through all the biographies in bookstores in order to find the memoir gems that were in the mix. It was always worth the sifting! I think it takes a lot of courage to write and share your personal story and I think that in itself makes for the start of a good story!
PS - Coincidentally just finished reading Love Sick and found it to be really powerful. Am looking forward to checking out this new book to learn more about the writing process!
Hi Sue!
And congratulations on what sounds like another wonderful, life-affirming and life-changing book.
I've followed your journey for a while now, first having brought you into our women's center in Grand Haven, MI—The Gathering Place-and I believe we sponsored an event for your first book. This was in 1998, I believe, but I hope you will remember me (Jan Forrest, now Jan Lundy). Hi!
I love the suggestions you give us about writing memoir, especially about conquering fear around self-revelation. I've learned this, as an author and facilitator: the more transparent we can be, the more we are able to heal and reclaim our inherent wholeness. And our healing, as you say, invites others to do the same. Memoir writing offers all of us a powerful invitation to live as our truest selves.
Blessings on your journey and your continued good work!
Jan Lundy
AwakenedLiving.com
Kathryn--I'm glad you take the time to sift through books in the bookstores looking for memoirs, too!!
And thank you for reading "Love Sick"--and your kind comments. Your interest in my work means a lot. Sue
Jan! Of course I remember you. Are you still in Grand Haven--or in the area? (I'm going to give a reading at the Bookman on Sept. 17, and it'd be great to see you again.) In any event, how wonderful to hear from you!
Yes, exactly: the more we shed our secrets, the freer we are. Finally, for me, it was easier to write--to let all the secrets go--than to use all that energy hiding the truth.
Writing, in whatever form, is incredibly powerful. Sue
Hello Sue.
A memoir is meant to create intimacy between the writer and the reader. It should tell the deepest truth. I agree with your comment about not calling the "dark" topics negative, but instead use the word painful. Truth be told, happy is a hard sell, and sometimes evern more difficult to write.
I'm working on a memoir about my husband's battle with alcohol and the downward spiral that led to his death. It isn't pretty, but it's honest.
Your book sounds like a wonderful look at memoir writing. I will definitely check it out.
~~Annie
HI, Annie: I'm so pleased that you see memoir the same way--that a memoir needs to tell the "deepest truths," regardless of how painful. The reason to do so is, I feel, to explore these topics, figure them out. Memoir, in this sense, is a journey.
Your own memoir about your husband's alcoholism and subsequent death sounds very powerful...and an important journey for you to undertake, in the writing of it.
Thank you for your support!
Sue
Hi Sue,
I guess I've always felt the things in my life, while they may have seemed bad to me, weren't as deep or dark as those of so many other people in the world. So often I think I don't deserve to write about my "problems" since they may seem minor to others. Is this a type of fear, too?
I always write better when I have a guide. I guess I need someone to hold my hand. :) I will definitely be checking out your book! Good luck with the tour!
Kerrie
Hi Sue,
Thanks for sharing your insightful thoughts and for writing such a wonderful book. I've read Fearless Confessions, bookmarked several pages to read again, and reviewed it on one my A Book A Week blog https://donnamariev.wordpress.com.
I'm looking forward to your visit on Donna's Book Pub this coming Wednesday. Your book about the Pat Boone Fan Club sounds fascinating!
And Jodi, Great interview.
Donna Volkenannt
https://donnasbookpub.blogspot.com
Hi, Kerrie: Yes, that IS a kind of fear, too. And I'd like, more than anything, to reassure you that your story is important!
I think it's important NOT to judge ourselves against others. Mainly know, in your heart, to believe in yourself and the importance of your own narrative.
All our stories are important and everyone has one to tell. If you feel strongly about your story and feel an urgency to write it, then readers everywhere will want to read it, too.
In short, my hope is that you don't doubt yourself. Your voice is important!
And having a guide, someone to hold your hand while writing, is a lovely thought! We all need guides. We all need support, to know that we're not alone in whatever our endeavor.
I really wish you all the best with your writing!
Irishoma: Thank you so much for the review and your kind comments about "Fearless Confessions." I always like to think of my books as marked up and bookmarked--to know that they are well used!
I'm delighted by your interest in my "Pat Boone Fan Club" book. I hope to finish it before the end of the year!
Good to hear from you! Sue
By the way, I'd love to know more about what some of you are thinking of writing about. Or--let's say--if you were going to write a memoir, what issues or themes would you be interested in exploring? I'd love to know!! Sue
Thanks for the encouragement, Sue! I'm really bad about judging myself and it paralyzes me. I think that's why I do better when I have someone to lead the way. :)
Kerrie: you're welcome! And I totally understand. I've always needed guides, too.
And it means a lot to me that you shared this with me--with all of us here. This is a great blog site, with lots of support!!
Hi Sue,
Thanks for the wonderful interview! The creative nonfiction genre has always been my favorite to write, but I (like Kerrie!) have struggled with wondering if my stories will really matter to anyone. :-) Your response to Kerrie resonated with me. Thank you so much!
https://www.thebeautificationproject.wordpress.com
P.S. My name is Stephanie :-) I can never figure out how to properly log into these comment forms! :-)
HI, Stephanie,
I'm pleased that my response to Kerrie was helpful to you, too! And it probably won't surprise you to know that you're not alone.
I'm frequently approached by writers who feel that their stories aren't "worthy," for whatever reason. And I always do my best to dissuade them of this notion. That's certainly one of the points I try to make in my craft book: that all our stories are important! Thanks for the post!! Sue
I am such a total non-fiction writer, I have problems doing anything remotely creative. I'd love to read this book and find out how to bring out that other side of me.
HI, LuAnn,
Yes, writing journalistically is different from writing creatively--or writing creative nonfiction.
I, too, began by writing more like you. As an undergraduate, I studied journalism and public relations kind of writing. My first job was writing for a politician--though you could say there's a lot of creativity in that! (LOL)
But slowly I switched and began studying creative writing. Once you're already a writer, then it's really a matter of learning different techniques.
Don't you think that's right?
Hi Sue!
Great discussion here today. And congrats on your launch! :o)
I'd like to write a memoir someday--I've always written fiction loosely based on my life--but here's my question: Where do I start? There are many "chapters" of my life that can be complete books in themselves. I know it's important to focus on one area, subject, or series of events, in a memoir, but I have trouble figuring out exactly where that starting point is.
For example, if I wanted to write about an abusive relationship I had with my ex-boyfriend, would it make sense to start at the beginning--when I met him? To help give readers some background? Or to start with a particularly emotional incident, or perhaps, when I left him?
Since our lives are so intricately woven with experiences overlapping and time elapsing, I find it really difficult to leave things out. I don't know why that is--in fiction I don't have that problem. But since it's my personal life and I'm so close to it, it's hard to step back and observe myself as a story.
Any advice?
Thanks!
Ang
Hi, Angela, great to hear from you, and that's a good question.
I usually find it's easier to write a memoir by breaking, to some extent, with chronology. Here are a couple of ideas as to where, perhaps, you might want to begin:
1) Maybe begin that particular story, about the abusive relationship, when the two of you split up. And then you can go backward in time, as flashbacks, to show how you met and became involved...while, at the same time, moving forward in time in a way that shows the series of steps that lead to the breakup, and what happened to you after.
2) Or, you could also begin at the moment the relationship becomes abusive. Set that scene--the first time the abuse happens. Then, the journey could focus on how you finally separated from him...while also having a flashback as to how you met.
Of these two options (and there are probably others), I'm sensing that it might be more forceful to try the second one. What do you think?
In a more general way, in terms of trying to figure out which "chapter" of one's life to write, I usually suggest you try freewriting. In other words, say there are childhood events you might want to write about; so, try freewriting those and see how much energy you discover, how much urgency you feel about those events.
Then, think about another "chapter," say this ex-boyfriend, and try freewriting about him, too.
In other words, as you're freewriting, you'll probably discover which area of your life is most gripping to you right now. And that would be the event to focus on for your first book or essay.
Does this make sense? Please let me know if not, or if you have any questions!!
It definitely makes sense! Thanks so much, Sue, for your detailed reply. You are the best!
I agree with you--#2 sounds like the perfect way to go. I guess it's not that much different than fiction writing...at least as structure is concerned. I will do some freewriting, and see where it takes me. And, I'm going to have to get a copy of your book! ;)
Hi, Angela, good!! I'm delighted that makes sense. I absolutely think you have a memoir here, that one could be crafted around this material.
You're right: in terms of structure, there are similarities between memoir and fiction.
In terms of where to start, the best place is always the point of impact. What has just happened that makes the story need to start NOW. What event best jumpstarts the action into "being." Those are usually the questions I ask myself when beginning any new piece.
Then, once the story starts, just follow that theme, throughout.
Thanks for asking the question! Sue
Sue,
Your writing and your life's stories are incredible.
I appreciate the journeys you continue to share with us and feel your passion for the lack of respect memoirs have been given.
I can't wait to read this book and follow your tour.
Thanks for sharing, yet again!
Elizabeth
Thanks so much, Elizabeth! Your message and support really mean a lot to me. I look forward to seeing you around the blog tour, as your time allows! Really--thank you! Sue
Sue,
I am interested in your ideas of voice-the voice of experience and the voice of innocence. I am working on my MFA at Queens University and my instructor for the semester is Rebecca McClanahan who spoke to us at our May residency about your voice concept.
I am working on a coming of age memoir and the 2 voices are something I struggle with the most, how to move between my child and adult voices without pulling the reader out of the story.
I would love to hear more of your thoughts on how to balance these voices.
Thanks very much, I look forward to reading your latest book!
Amy Mercer
Dear Amy, yes, voice is crucial in memoir, and I do devote an entire chapter to it in "Fearless Confessions"--that's how important it is.
I agree: it sounds as if the adult voice is a crucial part of your story, to allow it to guide the reader, as it were, through the childhood sections. But, at the same time, it's important for it to be well integrated.
One exercise you might try, to figure out how to do this, is to take a few pages from one of your favorite memoirs and underline all the sentences, phrases, words that seem to be from that more adult narrator. Notice how the author segues from one voice to the other.
Also, you might ask Rebecca (she's a friend of mine!) to note on your own manuscript the places where she thinks you might want to focus on that more adult voice.
Overall, the point, I think, is for that voice NOT to sound like commentary, as if it explaining the experiences of the child "you," or persona. That's not the function of it. Rather, it is a more metaphoric voice that reflects upon the experience.
So keep the word "reflection" in mind, as you write. Reflection doesn't mean remembering the past or commenting upon it. It's a search to see the past in a new light. And by allowing this adult voice to do just that, to evolve from the young voice as a questioning, reflecting, searching kind of voice, I think you'll be able to achieve more of that blending.
In short, as the young voice engages in an action, the more adult voice seeks to understand the action: thus, the two voices are always working together.
I hope this helps even a little? Thank you so much for your question. Let me just add that I know this can be a tough craft issue to master. And a lot of it is just practice. I teach at another low-residency MFA program--at Vermont College of Fine Arts--and I always encourage my students to be a bit patient, too--writing is such a process.
I wish you all the best with your memoir. And please tell Rebecca I say "hello"!!
Thanks for the great interview. I'm really looking forward to reading this book. I think memoir writers can benefit from learning about the processes of other memoir writers.
Hope to have the opportunity to meet Sue in the future. Any chance you'll be in the Baltimore area in the future?
Hi, Ami,
Thanks so much. I'm delighted you found the discussion about "Fearless Confessions" and memoir writing helpful!!
Right now, I don't have plans to be in Baltimore. But you might check my website periodically to see my schedule (at www.suewilliamsilverman.com). It's good to hear from you, and I've truly enjoyed posting on this blog!
Thanks for writing such an important book validating women's memoirs.
Thanks so much, amber polo! Your support means a lot to me. Sue
I just pulled out of my storage closet a scrapbook from 1973-75, my sophmore-senior years in high school. This also coincides with my journal writing which I have carried on and off for almost 40 years. One day they will be the basis of my 'memoir'.
Hi, Judy H.: That's GREAT that you just got your scrapbook out! That's a wonderful first step toward preparing to write your memoir! Good luck with it. Sue
We have a winner!
We held a random drawing for the book giveaway contest by writing all the names on slips of paper and putting them in a bag. Congratulations goes to Kristie!
Kristie, please email editors@wow-womenonwriting.com with your mailing address and we will get in touch with Sue. :)
Enjoy!
Now for all those of you who were waiting to see if you won, go get a copy of Sue's book! ;)
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