At the Movies
Certain things happen over and over in movies that just don't reflect real life. For some Friday fun, we'll take a look at a few of these silly Hollywood clichés. Here are a handful of examples from a longer list called Things We've Learned from the Movies:
* During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
* The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
* In school, teachers will always be interrupted mid-sentence by the end-of-class bell.
* Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
* It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
* A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
* Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
* If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
* The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
* A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince in agony when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
* All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
* Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
* Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.
* Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
* Building ventilation ducts are always clean.
* Grocery shopping bags are made out of brown paper and there is always enough shopping to fill two bags exactly.
*Large loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not.
*At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
Maybe you have some of your own ideas to add to the list.
--MP
* During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
* The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
* In school, teachers will always be interrupted mid-sentence by the end-of-class bell.
* Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
* It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
* A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
* Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
* If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
* The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
* A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince in agony when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
* All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
* Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
* Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.
* Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
* Building ventilation ducts are always clean.
* Grocery shopping bags are made out of brown paper and there is always enough shopping to fill two bags exactly.
*Large loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not.
*At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
Maybe you have some of your own ideas to add to the list.
--MP
Labels: fun, Marcia Peterson, screenplays
5 Comments:
ha ha! This is so true. Unfortunately I can't think of anything else at the moment.
Marcia!
Your entry is hilarious! Ha! I recognized all of them--strip club, no pain, and French bread were my favorites. Great post!
Good list, Marcia, but as a former classroom teacher, I was almost ALWAYS interrupted by the end-of-the-class bell.
Maybe I talk too much?? ;)HA!!
I have to add on to the one about women investigating noises while they are dressed in their underwear. Why do they have to walk TOWARD the scary, dark, place where they will surely be killed or tortured instead of breaking a land-speed record running the other way? (Which is exactly what I would do!) And why must they always trip and fall? In a scary situation, I'm not even sure my feet would touch the ground! LOL
ROFL!!!
This was so spot on Marcia! Thanks for making me crack up.
Can you imagine if we lived in a movie world? We'd always have perfect lipstick, gorgeous lofts, and be able to find parking everywhere. Love that. ;o)
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