Tips for Making Dialogue Stronger

By Gayle Trent

eople's voices—including their words, diction, and inflection—reflect who they are. A word of caution here—a little bit goes a long way. What your character says is usually more important than how he says it. Your main focus should be on staying true to your character. In order to do that, you must know your character.

When I was editing the first draft of my novel, Photo Finish, I ran across a line said by the photographer Louis Giraud. As soon as I read it, I realized it was not something Lou would say. Another character might have, but not Lou. I changed the line to one more in keeping with his character.

Sometimes it helps to read your dialogue aloud. You might even want to record yourself reading your dialogue in order to go back and hear the emotions conveyed through your words and to determine whether or not you can distinguish between your characters without using tag lines. Does each of your characters have a distinct voice?

Example: The scene below is from my book Anything For A Buck. Roxanne has called Ethan, a veterinarian, and he has come to treat the injured deer.

When one woman saw her heavily-edited passages of dialogue, she was appalled and asked, "How will the reader know who's talking?"

Think about this: in your normal, everyday conversations—especially, when there are only two people in the room—how often do you say the name of the person you're addressing? I might go all afternoon and talk with my husband but never say his name until our children come into the room. My one exception to this rule is conversing with my cat, Pepper. She often lies on my lap or near me when I'm working; and when I talk out a problem with her, I'll go as far as to ask, "What do you think, Pepper?" I'll sometimes use a nickname. "You need to get up, Peppy-doo. I have to go get the laundry." Granted, this is probably the weird behavior of a woman who spends too much time alone with her computer and her cat. But this is the one instance I use lots of name tags in my actual dialogue when I'm addressing only one…er, person. If there were other people in the room, I might be writing this with a crayon from a padded cell, but that's another article altogether. My point: your written dialogue should mirror natural dialogue.

If, like me, you don't get out as often as you should, watch some movies or television to get a feel for the flow of dialogue in various situations or from different regions. But, whatever you do, do not watch soap operas for this information. I read somewhere that writers should avoid "soap opera dialogue," and I agree wholeheartedly.

Example: "Jack, isn't that Charles, the son you had by JoAnne while you were married to Elizabeth?"

Are the words you're choosing conveying the emotions your characters are feeling, or are you providing adverbs?

Example: "I'm not taking this abuse any longer," she said angrily.

"I'm not taking your crap anymore!" she yelled.

Which is stronger?

If you have a foreign character or a character with another sort of accent (Southern drawl, Cape Cod accent), define this without being too heavy handed. In my book, Photo Finish, I had a Greek character. I listened to Greek language tapes in order to get a feel for the cadence of the language. I also chose words Jay could use to give credibility to the nationality of his character. For example, he calls the heroine "oraia" throughout the book. "Oraia" means "beautiful."

If you have a character who is a child, it's wise to make her the same age as your own children. If you have no children, you might want to volunteer at a school for an afternoon to get a feel for how children today talk. Let's say your child is a girl in kindergarten. If you go to the school and read to a class or simply observe, you'll come home with plenty of research—and not only in how children talk. You might just have enough material for two books!

Another good idea is to read classic children's books that have stood the test of time. Beverly Cleary's "Henry Huggins" and "Ramona, the Pest" books are terrific, as are Judy Blume's "Fudge" series. Trust me on this one. You move into different phases with your children. My children are twelve-year-old boy/girl twins. It's no coincidence that the children in my most current book Murder Takes the Cake are eleven-year-old boy/girl twins. I can speak their language. I can write authentic middle school children, because I live with them and their friends. If I were to write a younger child character today, I would literally need to go back to elementary school.

Just remember, the most important thing about your dialogue is to keep it real.

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Gayle Trent is a full-time author. She is currently at work on a new cozy mystery series involving her hobby, cake decorating. The series features Daphne Martin, a 40-year-old divorcee who has begun the second phase of her life with a new home and a new business venture—Daphne's Delectable Cakes. The first novel in the series is Murder Takes the Cake, which was a semi-finalist in Amazon’s Breakthrough Novel Award Contest. Gayle lives in Bristol, Virginia with her husband, daughter and son.

Find out more about Gayle by visiting her website: www.gayletrent.com